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    March 26

    过去了就过去吧

    昨天晚上做了个好梦,好像很久没有完整的一觉睡到大天亮了。然后起来,习惯性的开电脑,查Kellogg的申请状态,在输入帐号的一刻,我突然意识到,都结束了,就这么,结束了。当一个人,两年来的状态突然改变了,他是不是应该不舍呢 -- 更何况,两年后,他发现,他似乎又回到了原点。
     
    Kellogg给我waitlist,应该是很正常的吧,今年这么多人申请,我又这么平凡,况且,路还么完全堵死 -- 尝试安慰自己,却还是没法子真正释怀。我也许投入了太多的希望和精力在Kellogg了,虽然老是说“知足常乐”,“人生是过程不是结果”,然后当结果是那么惨淡的时候,还是很难真正做到一笑而过。
     
    也许我是该休息一下了。起码我还有爱我关心的家人,朋友,同事。一个人,还有何求?过去了就过去吧,我要学会让自己快乐。
    March 17

    Suffers made you who you are

    公司又宣布了一轮裁员名单,许多熟悉或不熟悉的朋友都不幸受到波及。突然发现我们这种professional service firm真正是像雷锋同志般,“经济好的时候如春天般温暖,经济坏时如冬天般严酷”。除了给朋友们送去祝福和鼓励,我也无能为力。

    也许生活本该就是严酷的,所以佛家把“生”定义为八苦之首。忽然地,想起Little MIss Sunshine里的一段台词,想送给所有在生活中碰到不如意的朋友们,一切的不顺与suffer,只是what made you who you are!

    Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
    Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
    Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
    Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

    March 05

    在路上

    无意间又翻了下血色浪漫(呵呵,闲的),突然很想摘一下下面这段话。
    “ 我喜欢'在路上'的感觉,生命是一种过程,我们完全可以把这种过程设计得很有 趣,这种过程之所以有趣是因为它是由一串连最初的体验所组成,初体验属于生命中最纯粹 最美好的那一部分,它意味着梦想、勇气、新奇、刺激和执著……但很多时候,初体验往往 还伴随着恐惧、担忧、绝望和危险,初体验是残酷的。我很喜欢体验这个词,因为我是个更 看重过程的人。当年我们都很喜欢凯鲁亚克说过的那句话:我还年轻, 我渴望上路,带着最初的激情,追寻着最初的梦想,感受着最初的体验,我们上路吧。 ”